Tuesday, August 23, 2011

And beyond...

Im lazy when it comes to posting. More like inconsistent. More like I fall off the radar, the edge. And sometimes, forget to float.

However, I'm beyond now. In a place where I must write and chant. The names of a thousand forgotten things. I must remember to catch the sundrops. I must write before I'm written out. Life is in the now. Time is always now. That is the law. The final law. All religions have convergent validity here at this subtlety. We are all in the now. And that is perhaps the greatest truth of all.

What to do now? What to do? Shall I work and make money and play with the blind boys? Or will I take up a pursuit and chase it to the end? Can I ever finish that task? May I ever run time down? Or will I be run down?

All a matter of staying in the now. And remembering.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Studying for the boards sucks

I can't seem to study for the Boards that well. With a little baby in the house, taking care of chores and a new job seems more important than mindlessly reading endocrinopathies. Yuck! What keeps me going is this angel as beheld below.




Muaah. Love him.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Starlight Rd,Lady Lake,United States

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Pakistan-related books

I have Tariq Ali's The Duel, Salman Ahmad's Rock and Roll Jihad, Daniyal Muhayyudin's In Other Rooms, Other Wonders, as well as Ali Sethi's The Wishmaker as ebooks. I would be happy to lend them from my collection to any readers, if anyone's interested.

Usman

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Ahad

My son was born on the winter solstice in the year 2009. He was 21 inches long, and he cried for five minutes before the nurse cleaned him up and handed him to his mother. He fell quiet the moment he touched his mother. It was perhaps one of the most surreal moments of my life.

I had loved my son from the moment I had heard his heart beat via the obstetric probe. The wusha wusha wusha of life scared me. It was fear of the unknown, but I was also stunned. Now I realize I had also fallen in love.

Ahad is funny, smart, beautiful, charming, irksome, moody, and a person. Never realized babies had such strong personalities. Well, now I know. In a moment he is irritating, silly, funy, and gorgeous.

He is a facet of God. And I love him.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Grandview Ave W,Roseville,United States

Moving house

I came to the US three years ago alone and Muslim. I am moving from Minneapolis to Leesburg in three days with a little baby and my wife.

It is an odd feeling. I feel like I did when I left the Male Hostel. The capital letters are important. They reflect what I feel about the hostel.

Once again I am a nomad.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

The Ancient World is Stirring Again

A thousand years ago, when I was a kid of eight or nine, I discovered the wondrous world of high fantasy in Urdu. 

I still remember I had a birthday party. I was in class two (I refuse to say 'grade'!).  A friend brought me a 5 rupee children's book about a boy who had magical powers bestowed by one 'Bandar baba', the Monkey Man, a dervish living in a tiny hut deep inside a mysterious jungle. Subsequent to that bestowal, the boy, ten years old himself, could fly in the air, walk on water, fight off evil creatures and dark magicians, and was accompanied by a girl witch. The boy of course was Chan Changloo, so called because when he walked he would produce the sound of tinkling bells from his toes, a reminder on each step that these powers be used for the goodness of mankind. And the girl's name was Shamli. This was a series of children's books written by one Mazhar Kaleem, MA. The same man who was (and probably still is) the most popular torch-bearer of Ibn-e-Safi, the legendary Urdu Spy fiction writer. Imran Series lives on through the pen of Mazhar Kaleem, as millions of Pakistanis know quite well.

That little book was the beginning of my life as a writer, because each night I would enact magical plays and moves in my head and direct and screenwright multiple adventures. Chan Changloo, Tarzan, Chalosak Malosak, Umar (oo!) Ayar, and multiple characters either created or propogated by the hands of multiple writers and publishers, most notably Mazhar Kaleem MA via Yusuf Brothers Publications in Multan were (and sometimes in the dark moments of the night still are) more real to me than anything else happening in my nerdy little life. There would be book exchanges with cousins and friends, piles and sackfuls carried to and from Ravi Road and Allama Iqbal Town, Lahore, and I still remember the excitement in my heart as I would sit in the backseat of my dad's car, looking forward to readig those adventures. Such was the beautiful, innocent reality of my childhood friends and assets.

One of the greatest high fantasy dastans though that captured me for years to come was that of Amir Hamza and Talism Hoshruba. These tales are the Urdu equivalent and, if I may, superior of the Alif Laila (A Thousand and One Nights). They are perhaps the longest epic tales ever written in the history of mankind, passed on orally, oratorially, told and retold in courts of Moguls, the streets of IndoPakistan, to beggars and to emperors, in a day when days were long and the world was vast, mysterious, cruel, but beautiful. 

All my life, I have defined myself as a writer. Medicine is my work and my humbling. Writing is my spirit and my fumbling effort to be taller than my five and a half feet. I have lamented all this while the disappearance of Urdu as a medium of magic in childhood. I have wept at the religiopolitical terrorism going on in my country, inflicted at my people, but I have also sighed at the praise showered upon Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, while Hamza and Amar Ayyar sit in a corner, pale and silent like ghosts of dreams past.

Then something happened. 

Someone got tired of his own tears and lamentation, someone stronger and more wilful than I will ever be, and penned the translation of the original Dastan-e-Amir Hamza. He sat down, and scribbled line after line, till his electronic quills were drenched with the sweat and blood of his toils, and thus was born The Adventures Of Amir Hamza IN ENGLISH. 

Finally, the manuscript that was dying away, that dust was laying a pale film of claim upon, that the monopolising tyrants of English had strangled and almost choked, rises back into the limelight, fresh and gleaming, like a baby pheonix, like Zeus from the cobbled lava of the sun, like Lazarus himself called back from the dead.

It is to Musharraf Ali Farooqi's credit that he spent years on this labor of love. Who can imagine the long stretches of time, the days and works of hands that rustled on paper, determined in their love for a lover that must have seemed so completely out of reach in this world of iPods, iPhones, ebooks, Eragon ( a wretchedly ill-writ novel by the way in my humble opinion), Potter and LOTR? Who can imagine the self-doubt, the exhaustion of trying to bring a dying world back to life? 

I can...and so can millions of others who must be out there, lovers of Urdu and Urdu literature. 

But I can't do what Mr Farooqi did. He did it! Dastan-e-Amir Hamza and Talism Hoshruba gleam on the bookshelf in your nearest bookstore, the former actually published by Random House. 

Musharraf actually gives a fascinating history of the dastans in the beginning of each series. The Adventures of Amir Hamza is a single volume of almost a thousand pages,a  feat of marvel and love and beauty. The Hoshruba series, so I hear, will be a 24 volume series, the longest epic, the most comprehensive saga of magic and mystery in any language in the world.

To anyone who is lucky enough to be able to buy and read both epics, please pass this on. The ancient world is stirring again, the lights in Hogwarts dim, while the torches in Parestan and Mount Kaf whoosh into existence.

Amir Hamza and Amar, undying friends, stand now, smiling upon millions and millions of Urdu-reading souls that ever lived in the last 200 years. They look tired and a little old, but Hamza's mighty steed and Amar's lightning speed whiz by us. The Invisible Cloak and the Neverending Satchel lie in old, skeleton hands, gleaming like Aladdin's lamp.

Welcome to two hundred years ago!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Out of the void...

I have lost words to write.

1 yr and 3 months. That's the time period after which I'm writing anything. Much has happened in between. I once listened to someone say that youth goes fleeting by, but old age lasts forever. It is true. So much has happened in the interim since I last wrote anything on this blog.

I am married now...happily. Much much happily alhamdulillah. Junaid and I are almost at the end of the second yr of internal medicine residency. Moiz will finish his intern year in medicine soon. Murtaza and Uzer are well set in their surgery residencies. Fawad, Mujtaba and Hussain while the time away happily and busily in theri respective medicine programs. Bubloo sahib matched in Family practice, something he wanted to do. Mak, so I hear, matched into medicine as well -- I am yet unaware into which program. Kashif works away hard at his neurosciences PhD. It seems all my AKU friends are finally well set and on solid ground as far as their career is concerned. 

Oh btw, in case no one's heard, Moiz and Hasnain got engaged. TRUMPETS!!

I sit comfortably in bed. My wife's studying in the living room. She has a quiz tomorrow. The night is atremble with the sound of heated pipes. My pager sits blackly next to me. I'm on backfloat. Just today, I wrote an email to a very nice physician recruiter from a hospital in Bradford, Pennsylvania, declining their offer to join their hospital as a traditional internist; Unfortunately, my wife's intended school is quite a aways from the hospital. However, I do have a couple of nice J1 visa waiver job offers.

Yet, my heart is silent and a little cold. 

Could it be the bomb blast that killed a constable in Islamabad today? Could it be that the very smells of a Pakistani market with its dust and chickens and old festering fruits is slowly fading from my nostrils and my memory? 

I can't feel Lahore anymore. It once used to live under my skin, in the cage of my bones.

I can't write anymore. Medicine residency and a new marriage can take their toll on your time and priorities. I haven't written much of anything, let alone thought about publications or creative fountains. 

I need to study more too.

As you can see, my mind is a labyrinth, meandering and hazy. I did both renal dayfloat, a rehumatology consult, and saw six patients in my own clinic. That is enough to distract any man from his aforeset task in life, bestowed upon him by the great and blind god Cthulho. Now, come on, that's funny!

This post is a mirror of the maze in my mind.

I think I will be okay though in the long run. 

Sunday, December 09, 2007

The Boogeyman aka Islam

In the heart of darkness, there throbs the life of hope...and no, no sexual innuendos are being made here.

There is a current current running through the crevices of Islam. The word, Islam, is taboo. And, as we all know, taboo is anything feared and least likely understood. If one wishes to examine the roots of that fear, one must trace its steps back to the World of Islam, a religiously bound geographical entity that stretched its wings from the sands of Arabia to the Rock of Gibraltar a thousand years ago. This is the time even before Baghdad University (Al-Nizammia-al-Baghdad), which was the Harvard of the medieval world, one of whose professors was Ghazali himself.

Medieval Christianity feared and hence hated Islam, mislabeling and misinterpreting a religion that derives its roots from the very word ‘peace’. Mohammad thus became ‘Mahound’ and in some versions ‘man-hound’, and Islam became something that was spread at the point of sword. History is written by he who writes, and is written in a certain language. Our history was miswritten by the West, and indeed in the great classic, La Divina Comedia, ‘The Divine Comedy’ by Dante, Mohammad (PBUH) is to be found in the last circle of hell, his body being cut in two halves, because he allegedly separated brother from brother. How ironic, misinformed and Middle-Agedly prejudiced, since Mohammad’s last speech declares each human being brother to another, with nothing but piety elevating any rank whatsoever.

So our history was written by either the West or highly qualified Muslim historians, but in Arabic, Persian and much later in Urdu. All three of these languages have been lost over the last hundred years, a deliberate effort by Lord Macaulay in his Minute on Indian Eduction, where he tries to prove that ""The languages of Western Europe civilised Russia. I cannot doubt that they will do for the Hindoo what they have done for the Tartar ... We must at present do our best to form a class who may be interpreters between us and the millions whom we govern; a class of persons, Indian in blood and colour, but English in taste, in opinions, in morals, and in intellect."

As a direct consequence of the implementation of this classic British cultural imperialism in 1835, educational Madrassahs where mathematics, poetry, science, astronomy, numerology, Sufi treatises and other eastern sciences were taught were shut down, leaving in their wake English as the primary language of imparting education. No doubt that has helped round up the globe even tighter into a village, where cultural terrorism goes ignored and suicide bombing becomes the clamor of the day, notwithstanding the fact that those very Madrassahs, that allegedly produce these terrorists, were encouraged by the British to strictly follow curriculums devoid of any objectivity, science, art, or culture, leaving religious teaching stripped of its holisticity, barren of aspiration and change, immersed eternally in fixed stangnant ideas taught by mullahs who have never opened Ghazali’s Mishkat-ul-Anwar (The Niche for Lights) or Ibn al-Arabi’s Fatoohat-e-Mekki (The Meccan Revelations).

We all die when we are born. It is all just a matter of time. Sometimes though, we have a chance at eternity, a shot at glory. Our glory is and will be the end of religious insanity. Religion is passion liberated: it is pain silenced and internalised till it begins to open hidden doors. We must begin once again by reaching for Ahad, Unity. Unity in thought, action, and knowledge. A fusion of western and eastern sciences must take place, where we learn the arts and science of not only medicine, but of politics, culture, literature, music, and social infrastructure. We must take all this training, if we do go back, which should or at least could be an idealistic aspiration, and use that to improvise unto a local colour the art of living. If knowledge is power, there must be no greater war than for knowledge and that too should be fought with our own selves first. There must be no blood spilt but ink in this fight. If freedom of expression means the Mohammaden cartoons can be published, we must also agree that London-based historian David Irving and Australian scholar Dr. Frederik Toben, two men who state that much of what is said about the Holocaust is exaggeration, must also be allowed to express their views in the interest of ‘freedom of expression’. There must be no prejudice then in the expression of truth. We must remember that if we are to fight, it must be a fight armed with peace, culture, and justice. A man once asked Abu Hafs al-Haddad, a Sufi contemporary of Junaid Al-Baghdadi, what justice was. He replied, ‘it is acting justly towards others and not seeking justice for oneself." I do understand that too much of a good thing in this case would make one apathetic or worse a coward, but it must also be understood that there is a time and place for everything. Our time demands the most of this advice. In times of prosperity, this is good advice. In times of a wretched posterity, it is indispensable.

Let me conclude by quoting the First Commandment of God to Mohammad. It was not Off to Jihad! It was not Declare that God is One or that Islam is the only religion to be followed. It was not about the permissibility of music or the keeping of a beard.

It was one beautiful, simple word: Iqra -- Read!

Within books lies salvation.